My Food Challenge

OK. If you ever took the time to search through your cable channels, you have probably come across a show starring Adam Richmond who attempted food challenges all across the country titled “Man v/s Food”.

Well, last night, I attempted my own food challenge.

It took place at the River City Cafe in Murrells Inlet, SC. The building seems almost dilapidated, but that is actually the charm of the restaurant.

First off, we ordered a “blooming onion” and fried mushrooms for appetizers while we decided what we were going to eat. Then I decided to challenge the gastrointestinal fortitude of my stomach and ordered the most challenging item on the menu.

So, let me describe the “challenge.” (It is listed on their menu under the heading — Double Dog Dare Ya.)

This is what it was made of —

  • Two hamburger patties that would easily weigh at least one pound — cooked.
  • Lettuce
  • Tomatoes
  • Fried Onion Strings – covered in them
  • Swiss cheese – two slices
  • Cheddar Cheese – two slices
  • Hickory Smoked Bacon – four pieces
  • Mayonnaise (I added mustard.)
  • Two grilled egg and cheese sandwiches“because the bun couldn’t handle it”

That was the JUST the hamburger! There was more to the challenge.

There were also two fried onion rings that were so huge that I couldn’t tell if I was supposed to eat them or use them for hula hoops.Then there was an order of french fries the size of McDonald’s large fries when they actually filled them.

Ladies and Gentlemen — This is the O.M.G. Burger Platter. Roughly two pounds of good greasy food to rock your world.

Unlike Adam, I had no plan of attack. I simply plunged in and went at it. (My son was eating the “Kitchen Sink“, but that would be the subject of a different post.)

I started with the fries and dipped them into ketchup and easily made my way through them even after the blooming onion which I ate at least a third to one half. (Yes, it was about the same size as you get at Outback.)

Then, it was time to see what I could do with the O.M.G. When you pick this thing up, it is literally too big for your mouth — even after you try to smash it down as much as possible. So, I had to start eating from one end and work my way to the other.

The hardest  part of the whole burger was when the only thing I was eating was nothing but meat. (This was after working on the O.M.G. for at least ten minutes.) The seasoning had a little bit of kick, but the hardest part of eating nothing but hamburger meat is that it started to seem a little dry after a while. (Thank God for Coke!!)

To change it up while eating the O.M.G., I started working on the hula hoops…I mean onion rings. How can I describe them? They were breaded by hand with enough oil that you could use it to run your car. However, they did taste good — but oil was definitely used in the preparation.

I went back to the O.M.G. and continued to work on it. Bite after bite…and let me tell you Adam is definitely right, I hit the “food wall” a little over halfway through the O.M.G. The food wall is when your body actually forces you to stop eating. You bring the food to your mouth — and your body is saying “No Mas, No Mas.” (Yes, my stomach actually spoke Spanish to me.)

But I had to press on — the O.M.G. would not win.

I went back to the hula…onion rings, and it got to the point that I was tasting more oil in the breading than I was anything else. Do realize that I had two of these things to eat.

When I went back to the O.M.G., I realized that they weren’t kidding when they said “the bun couldn’t handle it.” The two grilled egg and cheese sandwiches started to break apart as I came closer to finishing the O.M.G.

Meanwhile, my stomach is reaching the point that I thought I was having contractions — or at least the way my wife described them to me. But I would prevail!! The O.M.G. was going DOWN!

(At this point, my son had finished off the “Kitchen Sink” and was down to the cole slaw. Watching him try to eat it was cracking me up to the point that both my stomach and back would ache at the same time from laughing. Honestly, the cole slaw wasn’t good.)

Back to the O.M.G., after thirty-five minutes of eating, I took the last bite and wanted to declare victory…but then I looked at my plate and saw that there was still one onion ring (hula hoop) to go.

The burger was done, but the platter was still there. The only thing between me and sweet victory was a heavily oiled-up onion ring. Now, I had to think of a way to do this. (For those who know me, I am competitive. So, if my son could finish his…I was going to finish mine.)

I peeled the breading off and worked my way through the onion. That was the easy part. The breading was all that remained. As the nauseous feeling crept up, I slowed down. I made the bites even smaller. I got to the point that I had to nibble, take a huge gulp of Coke, and then repeat.

At this point, my wife also made her displeasure with the cole slaw known. So, I made the decision that the cole slaw was irrelevant. It was about the oil…I mean breading.

Bite by bite, gulp by gulp…and I was only half-way through.

It got to the point that the nauseous feeling was overwhelming and I could not finish it. I had to give up. My stomach could take no more.

So, in the immortal words of Adam Richmond — “In this battle between Man v/s Food — Food Won.”

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One Response to My Food Challenge

  1. abd22mah22 says:

    Reblogged this on shafaqalam and commented:
    My Food Challenge

    OK. If you ever took the time to search through your cable channels, you have probably come across a show starring Adam Richmond who attempted food challenges all across the country titled “Man v/s Food”.

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